Life is about evolving.
dealing with change...
In my room is about my existential thoughts, you guessed it—in my room. Here, I share my ideas and questions about identity, personal style, relationships, and mental health. I’m taking these thoughts and putting them online so that maybe someone somewhere in their room feels a little less lonely, too.
I’m not sure I know anyone who embraces change with open arms. You would think that for someone who has experienced so much change during these 30 years on this earth, I’d be used to it by now. But every time it presents itself, I find myself resisting it on some level.
I wasn’t supposed to get married this year. Or what I mean is—I didn’t expect to get married this year. Last year I made the conscious decision that I would release any effort or pressure to find love. I’d be open to it if it came my way, but I was done with any dating apps. I wanted to live my life without the expectation—urgency even—to find a partner.
And just like so many women had shared with me from my mom to the random woman celebrating her bachelorette at the club—love came when I stopped looking for it and least expected it. If reading that made your eyes roll, I get it. I used to too.
Deciding to date, move in with, and then marry my now husband, all happened in the blink of an eye. A whole lot faster than I could have imagined. And yet, I’ve never felt more at peace with anyone else romantically. His friendship, love, and empathy remind me that I’m fortunate to finally have the type of love I deserve.
Another thing everyone was right about—marriage is hard. It’s a challenge I have taken on wholeheartedly.
I’ve learned that I tend to be avoidant and want to run when there is discomfort. I yearn for what is familiar and romanticize the past. I mean, it’s really easy to look back with rose-colored glasses.
But all of us are made to evolve. Life is not meant to stay the same. The world around us is constantly—rapidly—changing. Most of it is out of our control. However, what I can control, I can choose to change for the better and steer it in the direction of the life I want for myself.
I don’t know if I’ll ever love change, but I can accept it. Resisting change would be resisting a new version of myself. And I have loved each new version of myself more and more.
Thanks for reading my newsletter. I hope you’ll stick around for more. If someone you know will enjoy this, please share it with them. Besos!